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What to expect from your favorite shows, through the eyes of The Daily Show’s writers

By fred | February 5, 2008

Mad Men

Everyone on the show dies, just minutes before the surgeon general warns that a diet of martinis, Lucky Strikes, and hard-boiled eggs might not be the best idea.

CSI

In a case designed specifically to take advantage of the CSI unit’s skills, the cops must track down a serial killer who stabs his victims with knives made of frozen bodily fluids.

Cavemen

In a finale directed by Paul-Thomas Anderson, the Geico-ad spinoff abandons broad comedy; instead, the prehistoric buddies face existential oblivion when a Christian Evangelist denies they ever existed. The final confrontation, in a disused bowling alley, has much to teach us about life in 21st-century America. Eat that, critics!

American Gladiators

In an embarrassing mix-up, Simon, Randy, and Paula tell Militia he will not be going to Hollywood. He kills them.

Discovery Channel Planet Earth

Some crazy fish things eat these weird plankton-y guys. Plus: HD crab fight!

Man vs. Wild

Wild wins. Werner Herzog advises America not to watch the final episode.

Rachael Ray

Rachael wraps a pretzel in a piece of bologna and calls it a “healthy 30-second snack.” TV executives reward her with another multimillion-dollar contract.

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, So You Think You Can Dance, and Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

The shows end with the answers “Me,” “Not really,” and “Yes.”

Source: New-York Magazine

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