Conan O’Brien’s Strike Diary Revealed
By fred | January 18, 2008
Just like any of us, late-night host Conan O’Brien had a hard time surviving the writers’ strike. While trying to get food and survive with a monkey and a beard as his only friends, he maintained a diary. Today, this diary was found.
In his pure style, Conan writes here a very funny survival guide for any TVoholic out there, and while it may not really help you go through those hard times for a long period of time, it could help you laugh for the next minute or so. Highly recommended!
By Conan O’Brien
There was an eerie calm before the Strike hit, which made its arrival all the more terrifying. The sky darkened and the cruel November winds howled. Hell hath no fury like a Writer denied his appropriate Internet-participation formula. I was tossed about my quarters like a rag doll, gasping for air and struggling against the relentless tide of angry industry chatter. Then all was blackness…
DAY 1
I am alive, but there is no writing for television and motion pictures. I stumble about my apartment — a stranger in a strange land. Gathering my wits, I take stock of my meager supplies: four original episodes of House, a handful of fresh 30 Rocks, and two Heroes, which I fear have gone bad. I cannot survive long — panic sets in.
DAY 2
Using three coat hangers and an old T-shirt, I construct a crude device to collect potable water. I then realize that fresh drinking water will not be an issue during a Writers’ Strike. I go to the refrigerator and fetch a Pomegranate Lychee Green Tea. It is my first triumph over the elements and I rejoice.
DAY 5
With no sign on the horizon of fresh scripted television, I decide to read a book. The first few pages go well, but I can’t help wondering if Meredith and McDreamy will ever work things out. They’re so right for each other and yet so wrong. I burn the book for warmth.
DAY 12
Tragedy! A power surge fries my DVR, destroying my meager larder of scripted shows. With little to sustain me, I am forced to subsist entirely on Reality Television. I gorge myself on marathons of The Real Housewives of Orange County and Flavor of Love, then collapse in a wretched heap. If this is living, I welcome death.
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Wow, that was OUTSTANDING! I always suspected Conan was a bit of a genius…. Now I have proof! :)